Wednesday September 1, 2004
Now we are sixty
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A.A. Milne, author of the famous Winnie the Pooh stories, wrote a poem called “Now We Are Six.”
Well, “we” (in the royal or editorial sense) are long past six. Indeed, today is my 68th3\”> birthday.
According to Gail Sheehy, who revised her earlier Passages book to take account of her own increasing age, this decade is supposed to be the “Serene Sixties.”
Maybe.
In my first decade, I think I set out to conquer my parents, by manipulation or subversion.
In my second decade, I set out to conquer girls — within the limits of my natural timidity.
In my third, fourth, and fifth decades, I tried to conquer the world. Or at least to establish a reputation for myself. To some extent, I succeeded. If I had died at 50, people would probably have packed my funeral. A few people would have felt they had to fly in from far-flung points in Canada; one or two might even have come from the United States or Australia.
But if I died tomorrow, most of the attendees would come from my local community, a few from neighboring cities. And that\’s about it, I\’d guess.
The circle of life
\”Times New Roman\”> Horizons tend to narrow as we (that is, you and I) grow older. The circles grow smaller.
Once upon a time, I saved everything I wrote — raw materials, rough drafts, final copies, printed pages. I imagined that someday someone might want to trace the development of my ideas through the countless dead ends of the writing process.
I expect now that I\’ll probably get tired of storing all that paper in the next few years, and consign it to the recycling bin.
Theorist Ken Wilber, in one of his books, described life as a circle. We start out, he suggested, thinking ourselves identical with the universe. Gradually, we recognize differences between ourselves and our parents, between ourselves and our peers. We reach the height of individuation around 40, before we start re-integrating ourselves with the universe again. As we age, community and relationships grow more important; individual achievement starts to take a back seat. By the time we die, we feel ourselves once again one with the universe — though not in the same way as when we were born.
Modern society tends to see that process of re-integration as a long slide downhill. I see more like accepting life as it has turned out.
The Sabbath of the soul
\”Times New Roman\”> Dr. Robert Katz, of the Jewish Institute for Religion, in his book Towards a Theology of Aging, described the later years of life as an unending Sabbath. One no longer need be preoccupied with earning a living, with acquiring, with achieving. The later years offer what Sunday/Sabbath was supposed to be before it turned into just another shopping day — a time for rest and reflection, when it\’s okay to relax and watch our world evolve.
Former U.N. Secretary General Dag Hammarskjold\’s prayer says it well:
To all that will be, yes.”
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Copyright © 2002 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups permitted; all other rights reserved.
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