Wednesday July 26, 2006
Travel rules…
While on holiday, I picked up a book called McCarthy\’s Bar, written by an expatriate Irishman called Pete McCarthy.
His first rule of travel was, “Never pass a bar that has your name on it.” Others included, “Never eat in a restaurant that has laminated menus,” and “Never ask a British Airways stewardess for another glass of wine until she\’s good and ready to give it to you.”
Or an Air Canada flight attendant, for that matter.
I thought it might be fun to identify some of my own rules – some serious, some not — since I suspect I have travelled at least as widely as Mr. McCarthy. (These are listed in no particular order of importance.)
- When attending Sunday worship in a strange church, never attempt to make change for $20 from the collection plate.
- Never ask a waiter if the tip is included in your bill. It won\’t be Even if it is.
- When visiting another congregation, thank the preacher warmly, but don\’t attempt to discuss anything specific in the sermon. Especially if it\’s a theological point. Whatever you think you heard, they didn\’t actually say. And even if they did, they didn\’t mean it that way.
- Never pay in dollars when you\’re not in dollar territory. The store may offer to convert your VISA charge from Euros or Pounds or Yazmagullions into dollars. Don\’t. You\’ll pay a premium rate, plus a commission for making the exchange. Pay in the local currency; let VISA (or whoever) convert it at the prevailing bank rate.
- When you visit a congregation on your holiday, don\’t expect the service to reflect local custom. The regular preacher is also on holiday. The guest speaker\’s main qualification was just being available.
- When visiting any area where the local tongue is incomprehensible – Spain, Italy, or any Southern Baptist congregation – make sure you know what you\’re saying “Yes” to.
- Never pass up a biffy break. It may be three hours before the next time the bus stops. When you arrive anywhere, check the location of the washrooms before doing anything else.
- Always go for coffee in the church hall after a worship service. As you stand there holding a lukewarm cup while the local parishioners all hold impromptu meetings with each other, you\’ll discover how strangers feel when they visit your congregation.
- Find out the local beer or wine. Impress your server by asking for it by name. Unless she\’s from Australia, working her way around the world, and has never heard of it.
- Remove earphones and turn off listening devices during symphony concerts, conducted tours, and other public events. Especially, do not listen to World Cup finals during worship services, lest you let out a whoop of celebration during the prayer of confession.
Perhaps you have some of your own “rules of travel.” Send them to me, [email protected]. Who knows – they might make another column.
=====================================
Copyright © 2006 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups permitted; all other rights reserved.
=====================================
PROMOTION PLUGS
To receive this column regularly via e-mail, send a request to [email protected]. E-mail subscribers also get excerpts from correspondence about these columns. Please forward a copy of this column to anyone who might be interested in subscribing.
If you want to order my books, you can call 1-800-663-2775 in Canada, 1-800-328-0200 in the U.S., or order them on-line at the Wood Lake Books website.
For a lighter look at ethics, faith, and life, I recommend Ralph Milton\’s weekly e-newsletter Rumors. You can subscribe to it at the Wood Lake Books home page in Ralph Milton\’s Site, or by sending a note directly to [email protected].
It\’s also worth pursuing Richard Fairchild\’s United Online site. Another site worth visiting is David Keating\’s \”SeemslikeGod\” page.