Wednesday July 28, 2010
Ostriches and Bugblatters
By Jim Taylor
Ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand. But humans do.
The Roman scientist and philosopher Pliny the Elder, living in the first century of the current era, may have started the legend when he wrote that ostriches "imagine, when they have thrust their head and neck into a bush, that the whole of their body is concealed."
Or the legend may have originated from the ostriches’ habit of hiding by lying down flat on the sand. In the haze and shimmer of heat on African plains, the ostrich’s head and neck would be invisible; the humped body would look to a predator like nothing more than a termite mound.
Although the myth is demonstrably false, the metaphor persists. In cartoons and clichés, we refer to people “burying their heads in the sand.”
In his Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, author Douglas Adams invented a beast called the Ravenous Bugblatter of Traal, a creature so stupid that it assumed that if it can’t see you, you can’t see it.
So in times of crisis, it simply covered its eyes.
Which, if you think about it, reverses the ostrich situation – if you close your eyes, the danger will go away.
“I don’t want to know…”
I thought of ostriches and Bugblatters the day I joined a group of volunteers at a local grocery store. Cooper’s store was donating 25 cents to the Heart and Stroke Foundation for every bag of groceries purchased. A series of nurses-in-training offered free blood pressure checks to people leaving the cashiers’ counters.
Quite a few people accepted.
But many more didn’t.
“No thanks,” said some. “I already know what my blood pressure is.”
Others had a variety of excuses: “I had mine checked last week… I have a doctor’s appointment coming up… I have my own machine at home….”
And quite a few simply said, “I don’t want to know.”
As a sweeping generalization, the last group tended to be somewhat overweight, out of condition, often a bit florid, probably already with high blood pressure.
So why did they not want to know? Did they think that if they didn’t know, the problem would go away?
I’m no fan of Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense for much of George W. Bush’s administration. But one of his memorable quotes applies:
“There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know that we don’t know.”
When I look around, I see some people who know things.
And I see other people who claim to know things that in fact they do not know. But they don’t want to know that they don’t know. So they set up barriers – doctrinal, philosophical, or just plain pig-headed – to make sure that what they think they know is not disturbed by things that they don’t know that they don’t know.
Compared to some humans, ostriches and Bugblatters almost look intelligent.
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Copyright © 2009 by Jim Taylor. Non-profit use in congregations and study groups permitted; all other rights reserved.
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Your Turn
The response to last week’s column was, well, muted, but generally enthusiastic.
Vic Sedo from Edmonton told me that one of the trees I need to plant is an Ohio Buckeye Tree. “Its a fantastic tree with flowers and then chestnuts. Has leafs like a Marawana plant, grows fast and only to 2o feet. I will try to send a picture as I have one and two at the golf course. Love it and grows great in western Canada or all over Canada.”
AnneMarie MacIntosh asked, “I’m wondering if I could have permission to print this article in my next congregational newsletter for Abundant
Life Lutheran Church, East St Paul, MB. I am strongly leaning toward using it if you grant permission.”
And Clyde Harris had a similar request, from Ebeneezer United Church in Agincourt: “With your permission I would like to use this column, with paraphrasing, as a part of the talks I have to give every now and then about Scouting.”
I’m happy to grant permission for such uses.
Clyde also told a little about his own experiences: “Today’s column touched home on three fronts. You mentioned Scouting and your experience as a youth. I have been a registered volunteer with Scouting for about 45 years, and your column explains Scouting in many ways. Back in the 1930’s there was a program started in Scouting to plant trees and this continues today in Canada as ScouTrees.
“You also mentioned that you encourage children and again this is what Scouting does every week for thousands of children.
“Your third point was doing good deeds and this you pointed out was/is a part of Scouting. Good deeds go along way and if the person recognizes them I am certain they will smile. I did. This morning, in the Tim Horton’s drive thru, I had the experience of the person in front paying for my morning tea. I myself have done this for people behind me and this was the second time I benefitted by someone else’s generosity. Yes, I smiled as I enjoyed my tea.”
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NEW PARAPHRASE AVAILABLE
I write paraphrases so that I can understand the Bible. And one of the most bewildering books, for me, has been Revelation.
Then one day my minister suggested that I was reading it wrong. I was concentrating on the prophecies, the interpretations of the visions, the explanations of the symbols. I should be reading it as a verbal painting.
Without most of the speeches and proclamations, Revelation turns into a massive visual tapestry, an epic narrative. In most of my paraphrases, I have tried to replace archaic metaphors and images with more modern ones, and to replace desert based illustrations with some that we who live in more northern climes might find more familiar. I have not done that this time. I have simply excised the blather that gets in the way of John’s magnificent panorama of rebellion and victory.
I’m offering this paraphrase of Revelation on the honour system, the same way as my other paraphrases (except for Psalms, which you have to order through the publisher). If you want to examine my paraphrase of Revelation, just write me. I will send it to you as a Microsoft Word file. If you decide you want to keep the paraphrase, you send me a cheque for $5 Canadian; if you decide it’s not worth that much, just delete the file and send nothing.
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TECHNICAL STUFF
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PROMOTION STUFF…
If you know someone else who might like to receive this column regularly via e-mail, send a request to jimt@quixotic.ca. Or, if you wish, forward them a copy of this column. But please put your name on it, so they don’t think I’m sending out spam.
For other web links worth pursuing, try
- Charlene Fairchild’s United Online site,
- David Keating’s “SeemslikeGod” page
- The Canadian Centre for Progressive Christianity home page
- Alan Reynold’s weekly musings, punningly titled “Reynolds Rap,”
- Wayne Irwin’s “Model T Websites.” a simple (and cheap) seven-page website for congregations who want to develop a web presence
- Alva Wood’s satiric stories about small town attitudes and bumbling bureaucrats are not particularly religious, but good fun anyway; write alvawood@gmail.com to get onto her mailing list.
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